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EA Jokes

Looking for some giggle-worthy gaming gags? These EA jokes are hilarious on every level!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  November 4th 2022

Are you a fan of FIFA? Madden? Battlefront? There are loads of games made by EA, and lots of reasons to have a chuckle at this well-known gaming company! Whatever you think of EA you're bound to find a gag to make even the grumpiest gamer giggle! Read on and find out for yourself!

If these EA jokes aren't your cup of tea, we've got loads more! Just take a bite out of these sausage jokes, have a squirt of these ketchup jokes - or for something totally different have a hoot at these big nose jokes!

What do strawberries sing at Christmas?

'Tis the season to be jelly!

Why did the Grinch get a burglar alarm?

Because he needs to get up on time!

Which Christmas carol do dogs like best?

Bark the Herald Angels Sing!

A singing dog and man joining in

Where does a snowman save his money?

In a snow bank!

How good is Santa at judo?

He had a black belt when he started!

Why is a foot a good Christmas present?

It makes a good stocking filler!

Christmas stocking

How much money did Santa pay for his sleigh?

Nothing – it was on the house!

Why doesn't Santa eat junk food?

Because it's not elf-y!

What does Santa spend his wages on?

Jingle bills!

Why didn't the skeleton go to the Christmas party?

He had no body to go with!

Skeleton jokes thumbnail
Skeleton jokes thumbnail

What do chimps sing at Christmas?

Jungle bells!

A chimp with a microphone

What time does Santa go down the chimney?

When it soots him!

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

One that's deep pan, crisp and even!

How does Christmas Day always end?

With a Y!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps!

How is Stormzy like an elf?

He spends all his time wrapping!

What do snowmen call their kids?

Chill-dren

What’s every parent’s favourite Christmas Carol?

Silent Night!

Three Christmas candles

What do elves have to do after school?

Their gnome work!

What is Santa's favourite type of snack?

Crisp Pringles!

What does Santa say when his phone battery ran out on Christmas Eve?

Oh! No! No! No!

Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?

Because Frost bites!

A French bulldog puppy

Why is it so cold at Christmas?

Because it’s in Decembrrr!

Which reindeer has the all best moves?

Dancer!

Who delivers presents to sharks at Christmas?

Santa Jaws!

What's an elf’s favourite kind of music?

Wrap!

What did one snowman say to the other?

Can you smell carrots?

How does a sheep say Merry Christmas?

Fleece Navidad!

What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with a laptop?

A pine-Apple!

What do donkeys call Christmas?

Muletide!

What happens to elves if they mess around at work?

They get the sack!

Santa Claus on the telephone

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite!

How did the snowman get to work?

They rode their icicle!

Why are reindeer the best at telling Christmas jokes?

Because they sleigh every time!

Two reindeers

Who gives presents to dogs at Christmas?

Santa Paws!

What do you call a rich elf?

Welfy!

What do you call a naughty reindeer?

Rude-olph!

Rudolph

Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen at the auction?

They were two deer!

Reindeer Jokes
Reindeer Jokes

Why do mummies love Christmas?

They enjoy wrapping presents!

A mummy at the disco

What goes 'Oh, Oh, Oh'?

Santa Claus walking backwards!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

A bad case of tinsilitis!

How do you know when Santa’s has visited?

You can sense his presents!

A hand offering a Christmas gift

Knock Knock! Who's there? Mary and Abby. Mary and Abby who?

Mary Christmas and Abby New Year!

Why does the Grinch hate Christmas?

It makes him green with envy!

How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out?

They spruce up!

Why is it dangerous for Olaf to be angry?

He might have a meltdown!

What Christmas carol is sung in the desert?

O, Camel Ye Faithful!

What do you sing at Santa's birthday party?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas?

'Tis the season to be jelly!

What do you get if you cross a Turkey and a centipede?

Drumsticks for everyone!

Christmas Dinner Jokes
Christmas Dinner Jokes

Knock Knock! Who's there? Carol. Carol who?

Christmas Carol!

What did the wise men say after they gave their gifts?

Oh, there's myrrh!

What’s red, white and green?

Santa Claus when he’s travel sick!

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy!

Mince pie

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?

Merry Christmas to ewe!

What is Santa's favourite subject?

Chemis-tree!

Why did the Christmas tree enjoy knitting?

It always had needles!

Why did Santa go to the doctor?

To have an elf check!

Santa Jokes
Santa Jokes

What do you call a cat who hangs out with Santa?

Santa Claws!

How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas turkey?

On the dark side?

What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a duck?

A Christmas quacker!

A loud exploding Christmas cracker

What do you call an old snowman?

A puddle of water!

What do mice have for Christmas dinner?

Cheese and crackers!

Brussels sprouts

Why doesn't the Elf on the Shelf have a boss?

They're elf employed!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Olive. Olive who?

Olive Christmas!

What do dogs say at Christmas?

Merry Christmutts!

How do you keep your hands clean during the Christmas holidays?

With Santa-tiser!

Santa jokes

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Frosties!

A bowl of frozen cereal

What do you call it when Santa has a break?

A Santa Pause!

Why can't a reindeer say the alphabet?

Because there is no L!

A reindeer sticking its tongue out

What does a grumpy sheep say at Christmas?

Bah-humbug!

Who called Rudolph names?

Olive, the other reindeer!

Who is Santa's favourite pop star?

Beyon-sleigh!

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?

Horn-aments!

Which Christmas Tree are You quiz

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A ren-deer!

I don't want to brag, but I finished my jigsaw puzzle in a week

And it said 2-4 years on the box!

I got a joke about jigsaws

But I can't get it together!

I think my anime jigsaw puzzle was too simple. It was...

One piece!

I saw a woman attack a man with a jigsaw

He looked puzzled!

SALE: Cheap 3D Jigsaw

(bag of frozen chips, re-assemble the potatoes!)

What do monks spend the most time on with jigsaw puzzles?

Inner pieces!

The inventor of the jigsaw puzzle has died today...

...his wife is in pieces!

Whenever I get stressed out I cut shapes out of wood with my jigsaw...

It's a great coping mechanism!

Woke up the other day with a puzzled look on my face

I'd fallen asleep on my jigsaw!

Someone hit me over the head with a jigsaw the other day

I’m still piecing together what happened!

I like all sorts of puzzles, like jigsaws and crosswords

but dot to dots are where I draw the line!

I always find completed jigsaws to be quite relaxing

Very piece-full!

Found a jigsaw piece today and I’ve no idea where it came from

It’s a bit of a puzzle!

What do you call a dancing puzzle? 

A jiggy-saw!

I bought a murder mystery jigsaw

I'm still trying to piece it all together!

Sad to hear about the death of the man who invented the jigsaw puzzle.

Rest In Pieces!

What Mexican food is always missing a piece?

A jigsaw pozole!

I gave my Dad a jigsaw made from a picture of his face

He looked puzzled!

A Buddhist was struggling to complete his jigsaw puzzle

He just needed to find his inner piece!

What did the painter say to the wall?

"One more crack like that and I'll plaster you!"

What did the painter do when he got cold?

He put on another coat!

What's every artist's favourite Disney song?

Let it Gogh!

What happened to the man who got paint in his eye?

It made him colour blind!

Did you hear about the man covered in gold paint?

He had a gilt complex

What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint!

Did you hear about the man who stole all those paintings?

He tried to brush it off, but I think he was framed

How did the cheesemaker finish painting his boat?

He double Gloucester!

What do you call a painting by a cat?

A paw-trait!

Did you hear about the artist who only painted peas in little cages?

He was a trapped peas artist!

Did you hear about the man who painted half of face like a clown, then robbed a bank?

The police didn’t see the funny side!

Why do we paint Easter eggs?

Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!

Why did the artist sprint down the road?

Because his paint was running!

I went to the paint store to get thinner...

It didn't work!

“Painting a giant mural will cost us a lot of money in the short term!”

“Well, you’ve just got to think about the big picture!”

I mostly paint plane propellors...

What can I say, I'm a fan artist!

When is paint free?

When it's on the house!

Did you hear about the artist who only painted fish?

His secret was to draw everything to scale!

What's Earth without art in it?

"Eh."

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

He hoped they'd look like hares!

Went to a fancy dress party as a jigsaw piece but didn’t like it

I just didn’t fit in!

What detergent should you use at Christmas?

Yule Tide!

I did my laundry today

It was a load off my mind!

It's very important that I get my laundry dried

There's a lot on the line!

Why should you put banknotes in the washing machine?

It's a real money spinner!

Why was the laundry sad?

It was all washed up!

If you think laundry isn't funny...

You must have a dryer sense of humour!

I'm sick of doing my washing

I've thrown in the towel!

Well, better get on with my washing...

I've got loads to do!

What detergent do mermaids use?

Tide!

What sort of washing machine do you get at the gym?

One that does a spin cycle!

I decided to change my washing powder...

It was a Bold move!

What do you call an expert in washing machines?

A spin doctor!

Why should you put mice in your washing machine?

If you want your clothes to be squeaky clean!

Me and my friend had a race to see who could hang the washing fastest

It was level pegging!

What's a washing machine's favourite state?

Washington!

I put my headphones in the washing machine...

I wanted to get a cleaner sound!

What happens if you drop your wallet in the washing machine?

You become a money launderer!

My shirt got damaged in the washing machine...

It was a casual tee!

My washing machine keeps ripping up my clothes

It's a vicious cycle!

What stars in movies and does your laundry?

Denzel Washing Machine!

What is Taylor Swift's computer password?

IKnewYouWereTroubleWhenYouLoggedIn

A cat looking at a computer

What do you call a pop star in a boat?

Taylor Adrift!

What do you call a pop star who's working in a suit shop?

Taylor Shift!

A person dressed in a suit and bowler hat

What do you call a pop star in an elevator?

Taylor Lift!

What did Taylor Swift say when she walked into a demolished house?

I knew you were rubble when I walked in!

A pile of rubble joke

Why did Taylor Swift take the lamb to the vet?

This sick bleat!

What is Thanos' least favourite Taylor Swift song?

Endgame!

What do you call a pop star who turns into a werewolf?

Taylor Shapeshift!

What do you call a pop star in a gym?

Taylor Weightlift!

Weights

What do you call a pop star with a cold?

Taylor Sniffed!

Nose Jokes
Nose Jokes

What did Taylor Swift say to Ed Sheeran in a haunted house?

Run!

Haunted house

What do you call a pop star's Christmas present?

Taylor Gift!

What did Taylor Swift say after spending a day with Prince Charming?

Today was a fairytale!

What did Taylor Swift say after she finished her frozen water sculpture?

Beautiful ice!

What did Taylor Swift say to her cat after it broke a vase?

This is why we can't have nice things!

How did Taylor Swift feel after running a race?

Breathless!

What did Taylor Swift say when her candy rolled out the door?

Sweet escape!

Candy corn

What does Taylor Swift call a handful of coins?

Change!

What did Taylor Swift say to the sheep on a winter's day?

I'm as cold as ewe!

What does Taylor Swift say after having a bath?

I'm finally clean!

What is Taylor Swift's favourite kind of drink?

Pop!

Where does Taylor Swift keep all her favourite songs?

On a Taylist!

What do you call a thirsty pop star?

Taylor Swigs!

How does Taylor Swift dry her umbrella?

She shakes it off, shakes it off!

A person struggles to hold an umbrella up during a windy day

Why do vampires stay away from Taylor Swift?

Because they know she has bad blood!

What did the three eggs say to Taylor Swift?

Omelette you finish!

I used to be addicted to quoting Taylor Swift...

But I think I'm finally clean...

Why are Taylor Swift's tracks always a hit?

Because Swift never misses!

What is Taylor Swift's favourite type of curry?

Chicken Karma!

Curry spices and hot peppers

What do you call someone who can make clothes quickly?

Tailor Swift!

Tailor cutting fabric at table

I asked my friend what she thought of EA’s micro transaction policy

She said she didn’t buy it!

Did you hear the one about EA sports?

For the rest of the joke you need to pay $4.99!

Why is EA the worst gaming company in America?

Because Ubisoft is in France!

What Does EA Call A Patch?

Next year’s game!

What do you call someone who protests against EA Sports?

Anti-FIFA!

If you're a criminal and you go camping with EA, you must bring something to sleep in

or they'll make you pay for the extra con tent!

What did EA do after everyone started criticising it?

It tried to console itself!

EA is now offering "deferred-payment microtransactions"

They're called E.A.I.O.U's!

Why are people complaining, what EA did was great!

I mean, you've got to give them credit!

This is an EA joke

Oops, I rushed it and left out the good part!

Why doesn’t EA let your pet dog play FIFA?

Because it’s a boxer!

Why did the EA executive cross the road?

Buy the DLC to find out! Alternate ending available if you purchase the season pass!

What do you call a whistleblower at EA’s FIFA department?

A referee!

A referee's whistle

What do Apple and EA have in common?

Unlock the punchline now for just $99!

What do you call a console collaboration by Sony and EA?

A Paystation!

PlayStation

Did you hear about EA’s new cat simulator game?

You have 9 lives!

How do you know it’s EA’s birthday party?

There are loads of streamers!

Cake Jokes
Cake Jokes

Why did EA make a pirate FIFA game?

They wanted to encourage good sportsman ship!

Did you hear about EA taking over Nintendo?

Their new game is gonna be called ‘Pay-per Mario’!

What do you call Battlefront without EA?

Bttlfront!

What do skiers eat for lunch?

Icebergers!

What sort of animals do skiers own?

Salo-pets!

What do skiers wear to seem taller?

Ski lifts!

Don't get addicted to skiing...

It's a slippery slope!

I got into a fight trying to get on a ski lift...

It was an uphill battle!

I'm worried you won't like this skiing joke...

It's going downhill fast!

I like ski lifts...

They always chair me up!

Why are the Swiss so bad at skiing?

They need a lot of Alp!

I've decided to stop going on skiing holidays

It's my last resort!

Why should you go to the supermarket if you're looking for love?

You can always find a date there!

A stack of toilet paper just fell on me in the supermarket!

Don't worry, it was just soft tissue damage!

I got a job in the supermarket bakery...

I work naan to five!

I'm always very organised when I go to the supermarket...

I always put my eggs in one basket!

Some alphabet spaghetti was knocked all over the supermarket floor...

It could have spelled disaster!

You can pick up dead batteries for no cost at supermarkets...

They're free of charge!

Why did Gandalf got to the shops?

He wanted to find the One Ring to rule the mall!

I knocked over some vegetables in the supermarket the other day

I should really mind my peas and cue-cumbers!

I was trying to decide which pasta to buy...

Then the penne dropped!

I was trying to find some bananas in the supermarket today...

My efforts were fruit aisle!

I decided I wanted to become a ski instructor...

It was all downhill from there!

Why did the pancake miss the bus?

It was a choco-late pancake!

What do cats like putting on their pancakes?

Mice cream!

What's a pancake's favourite skateboarding trick?

A kick flip!

Why did Luke Skywalker always burn his pancakes?

He refused to turn over to the dark side!

What do pancakes say instead of goodbye?

See you on the flipside!

What looks like half a pancake? 

The other half!

Why can't pancakes sing?

They're too flat!

Why do pancakes love Halloween?

Because it's so crepe-y!

Pancake Jokes
Pancake Jokes

Maths is really difficult...

Apparently 5 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions!

My maths tutor wasn't very good at teaching percentages, so I found a new one

He's fractionally better!

I had a big argument with my friend about fractions

Our opinions were divided

I don't understand why people use fractions instead of decimals

It's pointless!

What happens if you do maths with a rainbow?

You do refractions!

There is a fine line between the denominator and the numerator

Only a fraction of people will find this funny!

There's a number you can call if you're finding top heavy fractions hard

It's open 24/7!

I'm really scared of fractions

I know its an irrational fear!

I can't agree about fractions with my family

In our house, it's really causing division!

I always try and explain fractions to people at parties...

It really divides the room!

I'm suspicious of my friend's fraction work...

It just doesn't add up

I hate arguments about fractions

They're so divisive

Why do mixed fractions have such bad manners?

They're really improper!

What did the evil fraction say?

You will never stop my plans for world denomination!

Who invented fractions?

Louis the 1/16th!

Why did the fraction get revenge on the improper fraction?

To get even!

Maths jokes...

Only a fraction of people will find them funny!

Which king loved fractions?

Henry the 1/8th!

Why did 1/5 go for a massage?

Because it was two tenths!

Why did 1/5 go camping?

It was two tents!

What do you do if you eat black and white skittles?

Taste the plain-bow!

What's green and tastes delicious?

A seasick yellow skittle!

Why was one skittle smarter than the others?

It was well red!

Why are skittles so nice?

They're mostly non-violet!

What happened when the skittle took a pilot's exam?

It passed with flying colours!

Where do you eat skittles at sea?

In a rainboat!

Why are skittles such good friends?

They show each other their true colours!

How do you tie up a bag of skittles?

With a rainbow!

Why are skittles so nice?

They're always sweet talking!

Why did the Leprechaun eat skittles?

He wanted to taste the rainbow!

What did one skittle say to the other?

'Orange you glad to see me?!'

Which skittle is a cat's favourite?

Purrrrple!

Sometimes I'm worried skittles don't exist...

And they're just a pigment of my imagination!

Why are skittles so happy?

They're never blue!

I love orange skittles...

I love them as much as red and yellow combined!

What did one skittle say to another?

I love hue!

What's a bowling ball's favourite sweets?

Skittles!

I had a skittles joke, but I've forgotten it...

It's on the tip of my tongue!

What's the sweetest musical?

Skittle Shop of Horrors!

What kind of glasses do skittles wear?

Eye candy!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Olive. Olive who?

Olive Christmas!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Gladys. Gladys who?

Gladys Christmas!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Mwah! Mwah who?

Give us a kiss, there's mistletoe above the door!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Mary. Mary who?

Mary Christmas!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Yule. Yule who?

Yule be sorry if you don't open this door!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Cole. Cole who?

Cole me when Father Christmas is here!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Santa. Interrupting Santa wh-

Ho Ho Ho!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ava. Ava who?

Ava merry Christmas!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Holly. Holly who?

Holly Berry!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Snow. Snow who?

Snow time to waste, let's get inside, it's freezing!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Harry. Harry who?

Harry up and open your Christmas presents!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Wooden shoe! Wooden shoe who?

Wooden shoe like to know what you're getting for Christmas!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Carol. Carol who?

Christmas Carol!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Irish. Irish who?

Irish you a merry Christmas!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Murray. Murray who?

Murray Christmas!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Dewey. Dewey who?

Dewey know it's Christmas time again?

Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa. Santa who?

Santa Christmas card, did it arrive?

Knock Knock! Who's there? Mary and Abby. Mary and Abby who?

Mary Christmas and Abby new year!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Holly. Holly who?

Holly days are here again!

Knock Knock! Who's there? Anna. Anna who?

Anna partridge in a pear tree!

What do you call an Elf on the Shelf wearing a hi vis jacket?

Elf and safety!

Why should you look after your Elf on the Shelf?

To ensure their wELFare!

What do you call an Elf on the Shelf with an apple?

Elfy eating!

Why do Elves wear long pointy shoes?

To fit their long pointy feet!

How do you let your Elf on the Shelf know you've arrive?

Ring his jingle bell!

What did the Elf on the Shelf say to Rudolph?

I think it's going to reindeer!

Why did the Elf on them Shelf have a sore foot?

He had mistle-toe!

What do you call an Elf on the Shelf who tells jokes?

A real Christmas card!

Why doesn't the Elf on the Shelf have a boss?

He's elf employed!

Where does the Elf on the Shelf go dancing?

Jingle Balls!

What did the Elf on the Shelf dress up as for Halloween?

Prankenstein!

How do you know if there's an Elf on the Shelf in your fridge?

Pointy footprints in the butter!

What's the Elf on the Shelf's favourite Olympic event?

North Pole Vault!

What do you call a lift with an Elf on the Shelf in it?

An elfvator!

What food does the Elf on the Shelf eat?

SHELF-ish!

What sports does the Elf on the Shelf play?

Minigolf!

Why was the Elf on the Shelf so cold?

Because it's Decemberrrrr

How many Elves on the Shelf does it take to change a lightbulb?

10. 1 to change it, 9 to stand on each others shoulders!

What sort of bread does the Elf on the Shelf eat?

Shortbread!

What should you do if you're an Elf on the Shelf and you want to use a computer?

First, YULE LOG in!

What was Big E called when he was a child?

Little E!

What is the WWE wrestler Myles Borne known as in Europe?

Kilometres Borne!

What do you call a wrestler that eats everyone's food?

Julius Greed!

Why couldn't the rubbish wrestler light their BBQ?

They lost all their matches!

A roaring barbecue

What is a wrestler’s least favourite vegetable?

An artichoke!

What was the Ultimate Warrior before he became the Ultimate Warrior?

The Penultimate Warrior!

What is a WWE chef's favourite move?

The soup-plex!

A chef